Parents -- Meet Your Children

It is a telling truth of the embedded generational gaps between parents and school age and younger children that parents are saying, "I am learning I am not meant to be a full time at home parent" regarding their own children being at home for some weeks, possibly months during the pandemic crisis. We institutionally, socially,and culturally have come to believe we are good parents as long as we do not have full time care of our children for 13 years, and often longer. We make sure they are in "safe hands" when out of our care.

Who raises them? Day care, baby sitters, pre-school, school, endless "activities they need," and vacation programs are the structures and caregiving to which we cede parenting, and our children's seconds, minutes, hours, days and years. There is no argument there are excellent programs and opportunities for children. Yet, the "It takes a village to raise a child" rationalization does not mean primary parents and full time care givers are not the core of home and family.

That we have come to a place today in the face of having our children home from "where they are supposed to be" most of their waking hours that parents don't know "what to do with them" says everything about family relationship rupture for entire generations.

Face it. Stop blaming children for being unanchored from the entire concept of home and family, for being, "couch surfers" wherever they land, for hating adults in their daily lives who do not know who they are, for not developing and sustaining essential bonds to family except by patterning their own lives in the same sequestered, scheduled, and exhausted pattern of life we set for ourselves. We struggle to balance not enough income with "I want my kids to have the best I can provide" for them, then toss them out our doors and daily lives so we can find our own life meaning and income.

I would urge those who "don't know what to do with the kids" to write letters of self introduction to them, learn how to play with them, learn that their education is primarily through parents. Parents should (inwardly) tearfully surrender them every single day to the necessities of being separated for a few hours for school.

For God's sake STOP continuing "school and homework" as soon as they come in the door after a day of being institutionalized. Too many parents currently are at a loss with their their children just "hanging out doing nothing." Apparently "doing nothing" aka living and learning all there is to know in the world and daily life, is of no value. Enjoy every precious second you have with your children folks. COVID-19 is terrifying. You are the bulwark and anchor your children need.

Stop parceling them out every moment they are conscious to others' hands in some jungle gym structure of life they then will perpetuate with their own families.

Be well, hang on tight.

Meet Your Children